Detective Rizzoli Tries Her Hand at Something New
by MissJaneInTheSun
Summary: More fluff! Jane ponders her future and discovers some surprising possibilities. Rizzles.


Was going through files on my computer this afternoon when I noticed a document called "Rizzles Babies", which I had no memory of. I opened it up and _Voila_ (peep toes!), a fic I'd totally forgotten about! I hope you enjoy it ;)

* * *

Jane Rizzoli knew that many people - and not just her mother – said that as a woman got older her ideas about having children would change, and that even if they didn't, having a child was itself a transformative experience and would bring out wonderful things in her. Urgh. Jane Rizzoli was not interested in having children. Or in transformative experiences. Jane Rizzoli was a detective. Jane Rizzoli was a complete package. Jane Rizzoli did not do anything her mother might want.

Then Jane Rizzoli had met Dr Maura Isles.

The thing that had single-handedly scared Jane most about falling in love with Maura had not been accepting that she was attracted to another woman, nor that the bullies in her life had , in some respect, been 'right' when they had called her gay. Neither were her fears restricted to the ones she heard her friends talk about, like the idea of being tied to one person forever. No, Jane Rizzoli's greatest fear had been that in meeting Maura Isles she felt that she had met someone whom could have children with.

The idea of children with Maura had been sudden. In the rest of their relationship, and tortoise-slow courting, there had been very few moments of sudden clarity. However, one day, one Spring day in a wood by a lake, they had been for a walk. It was sunny and bright and clear, but not warm. They had walked arm in arm (having reached a stage in their relationship where that felt comfortable but not yet 'normal'). On reaching the edge of the lake Maura had sat down. Because her arm was still linked with Jane's, she'd pulled Jane over with her, so that Jane had found herself, still on her feet, but bent over the seated Maura. She'd looked in Maura's eyes. In that fleeting glance, exchanged through necessity as she tumbled in her arms, Jane had had the thought, _I can imagine myself holding a baby with eyes like that_. And, to say the least; it freaked her out.

Maura sensed that something was wrong as Jane landed in her lap, but Jane was coy about what had happened.

Jane, back beside Maura and looking out over the lake, was back to being the person who did not ever even think about babies. Or was trying to be.

She was quick to say, "of course," when Maura asked her if she was alright.

In her head a whole new Jane had appeared – fully formed. This was a Jane who thought about herself as a parent. She imagined herself holding hands with a small child (a toddler?). She imagined coming home after work to an apartment with bikes out the front and kids watching tv inside. A little scenario jumped into her head where she was talking to someone form work while she had her children with her, and she was introducing them and saying, "you'd know my wife, Dr Isles."

All sorts of things that had not only not interested her until two minutes ago, but actively scared her, were now fully fledged feel-good fantasies, such as sitting on a couch with Maura and Maura having a baby in her arms. A baby with eyes just like her own. Two minutes ago Jane Rizzoli wouldn't have been able to be confident in her answer if asked the colour of her girlfriend's eyes.

Romantic stuff, and kids. They were not on Jane's list of interests.

Only a few weeks ago, after one of Angela's tirades against her children and their rudeness in not providing her with copious amounts of grandchildren to fill her meaningless life, Maura had asked Jane if she ever wanted to have kids. Without having to think about it Jane had been able to answer with one word:

"No."

Now Jane turned her head back towards her girlfriend.

"Maur?"

"Hmm."

"Do _you_ ever think about having a child?"

"Oh." Maura also turned her head, so that she was looking Jane in the eyes. "Right now I don't find myself thinking very far ahead. I believe that the newness of this relationship, means my mind focuses on more immediate concerns. Why Jane? Do you? I thought you knew that you didn't?"

"Ask me again," she said, in voice that was very quiet and gentle for Jane Rizzoli. And she took Maura's hand in her own.

"Jane Rizzoli, do you want to have a family with me?"

Jane didn't answer straight away. She looked down at Maura's hand, and with her thumb, stroked Maura's palm.

"It's not a romantic answer, Maur."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Jane."

"And I don't think it's a brave answer."

"Honesty is always brave, Jane."

"Then ask me again." This time her tone was firmer.

"Jane Rizzoli, do you want to have a family with me?"

Jane lifted her eyes and looked into Maura's eyes; those eyes that were the colour of moss, or leaves in a shady part of a wood. Oh, all these things were terribly mushy and not things that she, Detective Rizzoli, had much practice at, but looking into her girlfriend's eyes she thought about a baby with eyes like that. She thought about all the things she'd done in life that had scared her (even if she hadn't admitted it), like being shot at, and shooting people, and some pretty hair-raising chases, and of course, Hoyt. Taking a deep breath, feeling her heart beat and her breathing getting shallow she said,

"Possibly."

Maura responded with a kiss on the lips, then,

"I think that that was both romantic and brave, Jane."

"No, it wasn't. But it was scary."

"Why? Are you scared about having children, Jane? The statistics for maternal and child deaths in United States are among the best in the OECD, while between us we should be able to earn enough to educate a – "

"Stop, Maur. Stop. That's not it."

"Then what is there be scared about?" Maura asked, deadpan.

They were still holding hands, and Jane squeezed Maura's. "I guess I'm just a little unsure about this person I'm becoming since I met you."

"Don't worry, Jane. I love the person you were and the person you are and any person that you might turn out to be."

"See! See!" Jane let go of Maura's hand and threw both her hands up in the air. "How do you get to be so damn romantic, Maura? Whatever happens I will never, ever get used to someone saying mushy stuff like to me and me enjoying it." She reached out to cup her hands around Maura's face and leaned forward for a kiss but then drew her mouth back; "hey, did you bring something to drink?"

"Of course I did. A _sauvignon blanc_ for me and a beer for you. If you give me that kiss you just proffered, then I might offer you a drink," said Maura, taking Jane's hands and holding them in place.

Jane obliged, because really, a girl didn't come all this way out into the woods with her new girlfriend to just sit around and _talk_.

Now, a few weeks later, Jane was still nervous about this new relationship with the idea of parenthood. It sat there uneasily at times, next to the ideas about identifying as gay, and about Maura being her girlfriend. Not unpleasant things at all, but new things, that still needed fully integrating into who she thought of herself as.

"Maura?" Jane asked, one evening as they drank at the _Dirty Robber_. "Remember that conversation we had by the lake that day?"

Maura nodded, "The one about having children?"

"Yeah. I think I worked out why I'm scared about the idea of even talking about kids. Can you do something for me?"

Maura nodded again, "Definitely. It disturbs me that you are less then comfortable about anything."

"Okay, Maura, in some ways I haven't changed a bit. So... please, please don't tell Ma that we have even had a conversation about kids, let alone what my answer was. She would never, ever, ever let us alone again."

After a pause Maura put down her glass and looked Jane in the eyes, "I see what you mean."

"So you'll promise?"

"Of course."

"Excellent! That's a weight of my mind. Nothing else for Jane Rizzoli to be scared of. Let's drink!"

"_Nothing_? What about hepatitis, Jane? I really think you should be more worried about hepatitis, it can – "

"Just drink, Maur. Drink," said Jane reaching over to tilt the bottom of Maura's glass to force it into her mouth and stop her talking.

* * *

I apologise for my complete inability to write smut (everyone else in this fandom is so awesome at at that I get stagefright). Please take it as a given that as soon as the events in this finished Jane and Maura ran home and did it like bunnies (but in a tender, gorgeous, and slightly humorous, way).


End file.
